I don’t even know how long it’s been since I’ve posted on here. Let me just say, God is so amazing. I’m seriously falling in love with Him. The last three weeks have been a huge challenge. Everything constant was revoked; everything changed. I feel like I’ve been here for way longer than I have. Afterall, it only takes three weeks to form a habit.

I didn’t pass the test to go on the mountain this weekend. The thing is, I completely should have. But now I know why I didn’t. The last few days I’ve been praying a lot about removing this thing in me that was holding me back (notice I said was… ). I kept thinking and thinking I had gotten everything out and forgave my parents for everything, but the way I thought about them sometimes was NOT good at all. So, I’ve been fasting since Thursday at noon and plan to until Sunday at noon, and I’ve been spending meal times exclusively with God. And this morning I wrote out a long, long list (I’m venturing to say it’s a solid 3 pages typed) of all the things I’ve ever hated my parents for. I knew there were a lot, but I didn’t know there were THAT many. I’s amazing what we can carry in our hearts for so long and not even know it. I had planned on burning it, but after talking to my friend Kayla, I’ve decided to keep it, for now. I’m going to go through every single thing on the list and prayerfully redeem it-making sure it’s gone from my heart. This doesn’t mean I won’t still occasionally have some of the feelings I once had, but it does mean that I am choosing to walk in truth – even in these areas of my life. It means I no longer carry this burden; Jesus does, and He always has. I just never gave it over. I feel so light already. I can’t wait until the whole list is prayed through.

I know I sort of live in a bubble right now, but for a year of my life, this bubble is just perfect. It’s iron sharpening iron; it’s learning lessons in love; it’s reaching out and building others up. I’m starting to really like it, challenges and all.